mrbumblepants

I'm considering deleting my Livejournal account. :( With the recent news about how long the servers have been in Russia, any enthusiasm I've had for keeping it is pretty dead.

The only real reason I've kept it is to have a feed at the end of the day show all my tweets. So I'll be figuring something out for that. It doesn't appear there's an easy way to do that for Dreamwidth. Maybe I can send it all to Tumblr?

At any rate, I have a decent computer all to myself now, so I'll be able to set something up long-term.

I also need to update my icons here.

Current Music: Steam Powered Giraffe: Clockwork Vaudeville
Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/163884.html

When people say or post or create things that behave as if the gender binary is some real thing - it's fascinating. Like when I read Hans Christian. He's got such a bizarre worldview that was based on peculiar, narrow life experiences that were just everyday in his neck of the woods.

To me, it all reads like a Lovecraftian epic, or like when Cecil Palmer doles out Night Vale's community news. I peer into this world some people are living in, and just marvel at how normal it all seems to a lot of folks. Like it's always been there, and isn't actually a decade old castle teetering dangerously on top of crumbling mountain top. I wait to see how many people are going to escape before it all comes crashing down.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/110749.html

Tod is helping me to change my knotwork designs into coloring pages, and also into vector graphics so they can be resized. This is very exciting, because with the programs I've got now, knotwork is relatively easy to make digitally - but being able to offer it for anything other than a business card sized printable or print on demand product was not something I was able to do before. So now I can set it so I can make a ceiling sized poster if I want!

For now, here is a Celtic knotwork coloring page that is free for download.

I'm going to keep adding more free downloadables, and will in the future offer packs of them for a small price. I'm hoping to make an actual book people can order. Also a calendar and oh so many other things!

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/109032.html

I'm too busy at the moment to really start working on anything, but I have been in full planning stage for awhile. I'm trying not to do that thing where I get ideas after the holiday is over, and then procrastinate on them. This year I'm well on track, since the party was mid month - so I still had plenty of Halloween time to focus on what I'm doing.

Here is what I know I'm doing:

- Embroidering my green wool coat & tailoring it to fit better
- Designing the rest of my ensemble (gender neutral/androgynous Poison Ivy). Still trying to figure out what I'm going for with this.
- Painting monstrous bacteria on some awesome glass slides I was given in this year's Secret Reaper exchange.
- A field book of deadly plants, written in character as Poison Ivy (Complete with post-it-notes!)
- Plant monster specimens

As for the food, I'm aiming for a lot of vegan stuff. I did research into what Poison Ivy eats, and the jury is out. In some versions she gets upset if people pick flowers, but there's no evidence she gets upset about vegetables. And in the Animated Series, she eats salad with Harley. Consensus seems to be she's either a vegan because it's the best option, or she's decided that it's a worthwhile sacrifice since she's there to save all the plants.

I'm thinking more logically, a plant person would understand that delicious things around their seeds so they would be spread by animals. There are plenty of plants that can't survive with animals eating parts of them. So therefore, it would make sense she would insist on this as the ideal - animals eating plants in a way that is beneficial to plants, and animals not growing too numerous or dangerous.

As a fun note, I like the idea of there being kale everywhere. Signs saying, "Kale is your friend!" "KAAAAAALE" etc.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/105721.html

I have way too many things I want to do. Wow. But today I did get ahold of the computer for a little bit, so I decided to concentrate on sprucing up the website and trying to do a little marketing set-up. Tod is going to help me do my schedule, and one of the things I want to do is have a set time for marketing. (Mostly that consists of writing blog posts.) Also trying to have a set time for audio/video editing - which I think will have to be Saturdays.

I recently got my own section of our store, and made a post about that - Owen's got some stuff in the store!
I have more stuff, but we either haven't gotten pictures of it, or haven't uploaded them.

And today I wrote about the books I think are best for learning Celtic knotwork.

I've got an art show coming up, and then I'm trying to figure out other opportunities beyond that. Today I learned about some digital art galleries, and art galleries near me. Unfortunately I need money to join most local galleries. There is one place nearby that is listed on Google maps which sells art and crafts for the artists who make them. That may be easier for me in the beginning - though I do want to sell on Etsy and other sites.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/105368.html

I finally have a new keyboard installed on my tablet, which makes it possible to write here again! Bigger keys, easier access to numbers & symbols, and it doesn't dissappear in the middle of sentences! I'm working on acquiring batteries for a Bluetooth keyboard I was given, which would let me type even more.

I'm transitioning over to thinking of you myself as primarily an artist, instead of that being something I'll be in the future. It's working out well for the most part, but I am definitely feeling an acute time crunch. Need more time! When I do get in the workshop, I'm very productive - but three days a week just doesn't give enough time to do all the art I have in mind. Working on that, though. Things are progressing!

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/103905.html

Halloween was great. The season involved a lot of classic activities I haven't been able to do in some time.

I'm being super productive with art. Too productive to take pictures or do much social media. Soon, though. Soon!

Anxiety continues being a thing.

Candy is delicious.

Current Mood: artistic
Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/103298.html

I just realized Depeche Mode sings that they think God has a sick sense of humor, rather than a sixth sense of humor. Having not parsed the rest of the lyrics, I had thought this was a song about the divine being playful.

Been very busy with Halloween prep and anxiety. Had a pretty good day today, but otherwise it's been weird.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/97035.html

Finally beginning to cut out dairy. Still keeping dairy cheese, at least for now, because I am afraid of the vegan cheeses I have tried. Have found some recipes to try that look pretty good, though. Never giving up eggs, because our chickens are delightful beings and the situation with roosters seems far, far better than with male dairy animals.

Very disappointed in Gotham's new season. Not even checking out the first episode after hearing about it. Worried last season that they were going to mess up even more, and they did - so much worse than I anticipated.

There are some more hoops I'm having to jump through for surgery, but hopefully these are the last hoops. I'm really hoping I can get it scheduled for early November - which I just realized may cut my NaNoWriMo plans short this year. Or maybe sitting and writing will be ideal for the lucid part of my recovery.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/95465.html

I have now hit the stage of Halloween where I get upset and begin to wonder why I do this. That always passes. It just means I'm tired & have been trying to figure out how to make the things I want happen.

Have also been talking with Tod about our big overarching plan for the future. Has started to get me out of a shorter future mindset. Makes the things I want for this & next year less important. For once, things like property are not entirely out of reach. There is actual identifiable work to be done to get us there.

Also getting ready to hopefully have surgery in November. Have to remember I'm not getting much done then, or probably in December.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/94549.html

Maintenance issues have been more than infuriating, but if all goes well things should be fine from here on out.
halloween crafts! Only 8 days till October! :D Trying to finish my Halloween quilt once & for all
Switching back to higher protein diet. I feel glurgy, & inhaling all kinds of food things. Trying to get back on track with that.
Studying German, enjoying the response I've been getting for that on Facebook
studying the DMV. I am feeling closer to ready. Still, there's a lot there, and having felt ready the last few times I took the test, I'm not trusting this feeling.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/93703.html

I've been researching Poison Ivy while coming up with my costume design for next year. I came across this interesting tidbit: Both originally and post-Crisis, she is a Seattle native. So now, suddenly she seems a lot more interesting & relevant to me. I wonder what places she would have eaten at before going off to Gotham, what kind of music she would have liked. Since she became a doctor and her parents were college educators, I assume she attended school too. So I wonder what kind of young adult troubles she would have gotten into. Also, does she have a greater affinity for moss & mildew since we have so much of it here? How often did she hop on down to Portland to visit Powell's City of Books, and what did she buy there?

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/91272.html

Anxiety rolls in like clockwork around 6 pm most days. It's kind of amazing. I can even use it to tell time now. My biggest theory of it is that it is the beginning of when I normally get home, and the count down for bedtime looms. So it's this continual thing where I struggle & fail to get things done. Thankfully, we are working on some new scheduling stuff that is going pretty well - but the 6 pm anxiety remains, apparently.

To help deal with it today, I decided to go looking around the property for a tree I might be able to try climbing. I have a theory that physical activity might help. Anyway, my waterproof shoes have holes down the side to allow everything to air out. A branch got stuck in one of them, and then I tripped & fell. Yay.

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Also pondering today what seems to be a consistent anxiety trigger for me: when I try to find something and it is missing - especially if that thing being missing then shines a spotlight on a much bigger mess. Add on top of that if someone else is sending me to look for a thing and it can't be found or I have no idea what it looks like. I can deal with it, but I think this is one of those things where I'd just prefer to arranging my life so I don't have to.

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There is so much unnecessary bad design in the world. Omfg. Who decided that no delete key on a tablet was good? How many kids are going to grow up having no idea that their ancestors were able to plunk a cursor down & delete everything that came after it? It's difficult to get a cursor at the end of a word or after a certain letter sometimes, so that backspace can be used. I'd rather just press a button & delete. Also, I would like to hold down the hyphen or the space bar or whatever & get a bunch of that same option. That would be great.

Additionally, I think it's crap that 3d printing markets bar the creation of dildos. People could be experimenting with interesting shapes & materials, and this would circumvent an almost entirely unregulated market that actually poisons people with harmful materials. It would be great if we could all be grown ups living in a grown up world.

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I am considering just limiting myself to one Facebook post per week, & interacting with people via the messenger there. It would circumvent the horror that is the Facebook feed, but would let me stay in contact with folks. And in mobile, the Facebook messenger is an entirely different app.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/90900.html

Super busy times! I think I forgot to post yesterday. And now just posting this to keep up the habit.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/90605.html

I am going easy on this year's costume. Partly because I'm very busy, partly because if I do end up getting surgery in September, I anticipate needing as much prep time as possible to go towards the party.

- had a counseling appt with someone who takes my insurance. They have an amazing tree sculpture in the waiting room.

- crafting! Will have Halloween props to show off tomorrow maybe

.- suddenly sleepy! Too tired to write

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/89608.html

I worked in the garden, and it was great! I've also lit some Dragon's Blood incense, and that is wonderful. A very familiar, charming scent. Can't do scents around the house because of respecting boundaries/sensory issues, but I realized a little while back that since my bedroom door is always closed now, I can have smelly things! Truly delightful!

I've been playing around with Cadaver Dave again, just for fun. I missed doing that, and I'm getting better with spontaneously interacting with people with puppets. It helps to actually have someone who will -talk- to the puppets. Many people won't. And that's fine. I have my limits with talking with puppets too.

I did spend time brainlessly sifting through Facebook & Twitter yesterday. Also inhaled a bunch of food. I was tired, and needed a recouperation day. Anyway, Facebook feels like a colossal amount of work, and it makes me unhappy. Having my writing here helped me get away from it though. I need somewhere to put thoughts, and here is very good. Twitter is not so bad, and it will continue being a useful part of my day. Facebook, though, I think I'll limit to an hour I plan. Because it's a lot of work, and also I don't want to ruin my good moments with it. It seems inevitable every visit makes me feel awful, and also puts me in a time sink.

I'm beginning to feel financially stable. We aren't entirely there, but it's close. I even had a flicker of a thought about savings accounts. "We could put a few dollars in there a month, to get in the habit again." And
I had the thought that money won't immediately have to be taken out to deal with emergencies. I realized also that food will be there next month, and I don't have to scramble to get ahold of whatever I can. I've got a nice emergency food supply which I'll want to supplement with water.

End of day addition: Yay lengthy anxiety attack. Wooh.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/89012.html

I assume after a week of posting, I'll have the habit again.

Halloween

- I'm working on a Halloween puppet thing. Gwyd gave me a halloween prop a few years ago. I had put it somewhere when we moved & forgot about it. Found it again, & now I'm redesigning it. The initial pictures are here: https://drive.google.com/open
I'm not slathering those all over social media because I'm assuming it's too gruesome for some. Hopefully the end result is still grisly, but more friendly. There is a brownish dad sweater in your future, corpse man! Also some reprinting. Possibly some ping pong ball eyes. I'd like to add a cool light into the tombstone, since it's open in the back. However, now that I think if it, that could be a great addition to a puppet stage. I'll experiment with Dave in it later.

- My costume is planned out, & most of the decorations are going to be stuff done up with what we have. I want to start building up a collection of things I can eventually use for a small haunt, but no rush on that.

- My costume for next year is also fairly planned out. I am going to aim for using already existing things than having to make something new, so I'll wait till it's reasonable to start acquiring bits for it. (Which is any time after Halloween, really.)

Other stuff:

- I want to take up swimming frequently again! Had the opportunity to swim in a small heated pool the other day. So awesome!

-I'm considering fasting once a week for spiritual reasons. Probably on Saturdays, since I prefer to rest in bed & hang out with the cats that day. Will probably drink broths, tea, & juice, maybe some watered down smoothies. It's a bit hard to find good advice on doing regular fasting in a healthy way amid all the diet pushing online.

- studying for driver's written test this weekend! I realized I hadn't really touched the physical booklet, and am now reading that instead of the digital version. It may help, I don't know. Would love to find an audio book, but alas.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/88427.html

I will not have much time to write today. However, as I was trying to pen down some quick thoughts this morning for a forum argument, I thought about how much better I'd feel if I did that here instead, then developed it over time. I miss my long thoughtful posts, and I miss developing thoughts in essay form. I realize now I stepped away mainly because I was so hurt by how LJ developed. I haven't trusted this place. I think it's time I do.

I thin the next time I have a couple bucks, I'm going to invest them here by getting a paid account for a bit. If I'm paying for it, I'll feel more like using it. Also, less inclined to use Facebook, where they get money off me and what I do there.

I'm working on not feeling obligated to do much there. A lot of people I know are there, and it is necessary for my job, but I still resent how not open source it is. I love open source. Everything I want to have happen is open source.

Another step is getting icons in here.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/87844.html

Day 2 of pushing myself to make posts here. Tiny success!

PUPPETS
- I've forgotten puppets & the microphone today, so no puppet video. Possibly one tomorrow if it is sunny. Can't wait to make a portable blue screen for videos at home. Also looking around for an inexpensive DSLR camera to take better quality video.

JOB
- Home care aid work continues to be good. Definitely something I'll tone down one day, as I assume I'll get burnt out on it sometime.
- I'm not sure my alternative bus idea will really work out, but I haven't done any research into it. So....reminder to me to look into that. Basically I need to see how much it would cost vs how much I could make, and also if I'd actually be allowed to schedule multiple clients at once. Doing that seems like the best way to get a profit while keeping costs low.
- My second thing I want to do is set up some kind of funding for other people to get their caregiving licenses. Would love to set up a co-op that pays for the training & takes care of the administrative stuff.

BUSINESS STUFF
- I think I've figured out how to approach my entrepreneurship goals. In general, I need to keep my ideas smaller than they have been. Yes, I should have enormous overarching goals - but they should just be guidelines I can revisit every so often. Instead, my day to day should be small steps which by themselves are complete actions. So things that will gain me a bit of money, and therefore give me a bit to invest into other small actions.

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/87363.html

I'm experimenting with ways to motivate myself & keep my anxiety down.

Motivation: I'm putting three things in my to do list per day. If I finish those three things, I can choose more to do. Days when I'm home run from about 8 am to 6 pm. After that, I want to work on relaxing things or fun projects. So far I either accomplish more or the same amount as before, but with much less anxiety.

Anxiety: I suspect part of my problem is I have gotten out of the habit of daydreaming. So I'm purposely reminding myself to do so. Also watching videos of people making things, because that really gets at the excitable part of my brain. I also want to explore world building without having to deal with a story - so just exploring a place & seeing what's there. All of the fun, none of the social stuff needed for interacting with characters. I might do this in my writing some time in the future. I wonder how many people would enjoy reading an extended description of a place.

I'm also trying to make Dreamwidth my default place for writing stuff again. I will interact with Twitter and Facebook, but I really need the solitary thought compiling time a journal offers.

On the note of writing, I am now starting to get back into it. Working on my red panda time travel story. I've simplified the plot, so slowly working on fleshing that out.

Other things:
- transcribing podcasts
- planning out Halloween & gathering materials
- making bog coats; attempting to make a 'bog shirt.' The bog coat I made is a success, and this is definitely something I will want to wear post-top surgery. I was going to try to get vests, but these work just as well for my purposes, and are very easy to make! So I am making a few with what material we have, then slowly getting more.
- slowly finishing up my nearly finished jewelry projects
- organizing my craft supplies! I have finally organized my beading collection, and I am ridiculously Thrilled! Hopefully getting to the craft room today, after working at the giant mound of laundry.

Today is going well!

Crossposts: http://mrbumblepants.livejournal.com/86835.html

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mrbumblepants

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